I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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