Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
