i think i have herpe
just one?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
