when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
