Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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