Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize