it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
