Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
