There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
