I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
