i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
a search helicopter?!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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