everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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