I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
