Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
