My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
