I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
