the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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