Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
