I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
