everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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