i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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