i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
