The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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