batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
