Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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