Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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