That's intense
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My dick has a subreddit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
