Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
