Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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