he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
