So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
