I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
