Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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