He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
