how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize