cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
its liver damage thursday
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
