It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize