bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This is my gift to your gina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
