What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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