We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
