no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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