are you still at the devil's house?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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