question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How does it feel to date your dad?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
