It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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