Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
