My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
