Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
