Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
