Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
