i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
