the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
