Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
