Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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