yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize