at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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