I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
